Tag Archives: television

Eurovision Is Not A Serious Song Contest

Semifinal 1 EUROVISION 2008
Originally uploaded by proteusbcn

This weekend was the Eurovision Song Contest; the annual spectacle of music, strange traditional costumes & dubious musical interpretation of songs (and, as you might say, that’s just the interval acts). It was as it has ever been: a pile of unconnected international pop pap presented as serious content. The most important thing, you must agree, is to remember your sense of humour. Over the years, you have urged us not to take it too seriously.

I wasn’t around for the 60s Brit-winners such as Sandy Shaw or Lulu. I don’t really remember the song contests of the mid-70s when classics from Abba and the Brotherhood of Man were born. I do remember Johnny Logan, Bucks Fizz and Bobbysocks in all their 1980s glory. When Ireland went on a winning streak in the mid-90s, we were holding Eurovision parties in our University flats. It was fun and an excuse – if one was really needed – to get very drunk and laugh at rubbish songs. Which we did with an international feel.

So, what happened this year? Why are you so frustrated? Why are we suddenly upset about the bias? Simply because we did not do well? That’s a little childish, isn’t it?

The Scandinavians always voted for each other (as they did this year). For goodness sake, we always expect Ireland to vote for the UK and vice versa (and we hope Malta does too) while we know the French won’t. Call it political, call it similar musical tastes, but that’s how it’s always been. It’s not going to change. But that doesn’t stop it from being wonderfully silly entertainment in the best sense.

The last 10 contests have been won by Sweden, Denmark, Estonia, Latvia, Turkey, Ukraine, Greece, Finland, Serbia and Russia. If we take the 90s as the point when Eastern Europe started to enter the content, then that makes it five wins to the new countries (Estonia, Latvia, Ukraine, Serbia & Russia) and 5 wins to the older entrants (Sweden, Denmark, Turkey, Greece & Finland).

Seems pretty fair to me. So, why have you started to lose your sense of humour?

Musak

Update on the voting from Popbitch: “If only traditional Western European countries had voted this year, the UK would have been third from bottom, rather than one of three with the lowest points”.

On this day…

No other posts on this day.

The Slag Of All Updates

I truly believe the YouTube model may become the model for all television. A couple of weeks ago, I spent many happy hours watching old clips of British Breakfast telly. The Breakfast Time title sequence was a particular fave when it got to about two o’clock in the morning (Frank and Selina were always my favourites). That shows that it’s as easy to get a YouTube habit – and I may need to seek help any moment now – as it was to think faux leather sofas were the most sophisticated thing you could have in your living room in 1982.

I don’t remember what I started searching YouTube for when I first got there, but by the time all the drunks had got safely home to bed, and the street outside was silent, I had a full playlist of old television idents and clips. Really, a computer-generated Central Television sun (or was it moon?) from 1989 or a Granada TV Continuity announcement about a School Fire isn’t really scaling the heights of art and culture, is it (I wonder if the moon/sun won any awards at the time)? So what on earth was I doing spending the night searching out these TV gems? Maybe it says a great deal about what was on broadcast television that night but I wouldn’t want to say as I was so addicted to the swirling letters L, W and T (if you live in London you’ve probably gone all misty-eyed at the very mention of those letters) that I forgot to look at the real super high definition million inch orbiting sound box that tries to hide in the corner of the room.

The YouTube model works so well that all content will be served like this in the future. I mean, why would I watch what some bloke in ripped jeans and a T-shirt with a witty slogan scrawled on the front wants me to watch in the early hours when I can watch Mary Beth being taken hostage in a clip from Cagney & Lacey? Why would I watch ITV Play when I can watch Supermarket Sweep with Dale? Seriously, this is a much better way to be a couch potato.

My inner couch potato would have been very happy today as YouTube grabbed me again. I was reading some old items from Listen To Musak (the world’s greatest blog) when I came across an entry from August 2002 on the irrationality of complaints about a television commercial for a snack food pot. You know that’s just a poncy way of saying that I mentioned that an army of people had found time to complain about Pot Noodle’s Slag of All Snacks ads. Seriously, the complainers have almost as much time on their hands as I must have to write this nonsense.

Now listen up, kids: back in 2002, there really wasn’t a YouTube (really, all the Internet was in black & white back then). And if there was a YouTube (which there wasn’t), we were all using a telephone dial-up line to access the Internet, so there’s no way we’d have been watching. Can you imagine? So back in 2002, I wouldn’t have been able to link to the ad. Which I can now. Here’s the link: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=L_6GGDhHzKI. See, the ad is really funny and cleverly plays on the British attitudes to sex (I say that, but so does the New Statesman, so I must be right, mustn’t I?) and it shouldn’t have been banned.

So now, thanks to YouTube, you can write to your MP about the fact that the Slag Of All Snacks is on the net now and try to get it removed. Really, YouTube’s given you a whole new way to complain. Told you it was the future for television.

And so, to those who read on, here is a spinning computer-generated moon and some whizzing letters for you to enjoy. Who says I don’t entertain?

On this day…

2006: Hello From Here
2005: Charlie And The Chocolate Factory
2002: The Art of the Blog

All You Need To Know About Sharon Osbourne’s New TV Show

Really, The Guardian’s Organ Grinder is the place to go if you want to keep up with the highs and lows of television in the UK. I didn’t even know the lovely Sharon had her own television chat show. Never mind that it started earlier tonight.

Martin, the second contestant looking for love, looks terrified. Ooh, he hugs Sharon, the cheeky monkey! Hope Ozzy’s not watching. He’s probably in bed. The third love wannabe, Mariola, is giant! Give that woman her own show! [Cue Sharon! from Guardian Unlimited: Organ Grinder]

It’s making me wish I was at home in front of the box right now. But I am not, I am in Oslo and I haven’t even switched the television on yet.

On this day…

2006: Big Pink Crosses (or some such TV nonsense)
2006: In The Air Again
2002: Temptation

Who Are You?

They call it Celebrity Big Brother‘. I want to start a new game today. Can you actually spot the celebrity in the show?

I see there are a lot of people who would quite like to be a celebrity, but I haven’t spotted a real one yet. Apparently, they can be quite shy, and you have to look really hard. If you see one, then please don’t hesitate to let me know. Seriously, we all like to moan that a show like this is full of people we have never heard of, but often we don’t really mean that. Now, I am addicted to TV trash as much as the next person, and I still think this is one of the poorest showings ever. Thus, I imagine, it will be a huge hit, and they’ll all be signed up for a season of commercials, talk shows, and pantomimes before January’s finished.

Still, Preston might be worth watching.

On this day…

2004: Same Sex Partnerships in 2004
2003: LBC Back On Air

Catherine Tate

3 Replies

I am so sad right now. The Catherine Tate show (which follows Extras on BBC2 on Thursday nights) has just come to the end of its pitifully short run. It’s by far the best comedy sketch show there has been for a long, long time. I love all the characters, but the ‘I don’t know’ couple make me laugh before they open their mouths. Foul-mouth Gran, Lauren (Am I bothered? Am I bothered though?) and Derek (How Very Dare You) just make me smile the whole time. What a shame this is ending. Please, BBC, bring it back soon.

UPDATE 30 August: Amazon have the Catherine Tate Show Series One DVD on sale now.

On this day…

2003: Naked Valley Money
2002: Not Hilarious or Surprising

Boston Legal

On this day…

2004: Flash Floods
2004: Should I Mention The Olympics?
2003: Great Yarmouth
2003: Stag
2002: In Short, Things Are Grim

Lost

On this day…

2004: Kill Bill (Volume 1)
2003: Disappointing Frustrating
2002: On The Town

Value From The Street

Today’s linkage: Todd Grimshaw, the character at the centre of a controversial gay storyline in Coronation Street, is set to return to ITV screens as producers at Granada try to extract more “value” from their biggest brand [Media Guardian]. See also that first kiss.

On this day…

2002: Friday Night’s Gonna Be Alright

Big Match Update

I spoke last Sunday about Sky One’s programme The Match. Now I haven’t watched any of it apart from that first episode and the actual game tonight. The celebrities were better than I thought they would be, and I thought it was a shame that they lost (2-1). Jonathan Wilkes turned out to be something of a star, really, and scored the goal for the celebs. Poor old Gary Lucy didn’t do very well – apparently, they kept putting him on the bench all week, and he was up for the public vote several times. He did, however, survive to play part of the game. Perhaps it was one of the better reality TV shows.

[Sky Showbiz Report: Celebs Narrowly Beaten In The Match]

On this day…

2005: Sky One’s The Match
2002: Mussels

What’s Happening on Channel Four?

In 2002, Kate won Big Brother 3. I started the summer with little interest and then, gradually, watched more and more of it. Last year, I seemed very aware of Big Brother 4 from the beginning. Then I grew to support Fed despite the bad press, and gradually, you get sucked in.

So, this time next week – in a clever bit of scheduling – we will see the last episode of Friends and then watch as the new contestants enter the new house for Big Brother 5. Perhaps I will try to avoid it again this year. Still, it means interest in Dermot O’Leary will pick up again, and that tends to go hand in hand with the beginning of summer. It’s a good time of year!

Channel Four will have a big night next week, but C4’s boss Mark Thompson won’t be celebrating with them as he’s just jumped ship back to the BBC.

On this day…

2003: Gone Fishing