Not Looking Rubbish

Mitch Hewer

The phrase ‘free hair extensions’ is, apparently, a very popular way to find this site via a well-known search engine. Don’t ask me why as I have no hair on which to hang the extensions, free or otherwise. I can’t work it out but, suffice to say, I don’t know where you can get free hair extensions and, really, they look rubbish so why would you want to?

Which brings us neatly onto the act of ‘looking rubbish’. This is something I am currently excelling at. In fact, I really should take out a keyword campaign on a popular search engine but I am struggling to find a way to charge for a service for which the main goal would be to ‘make you look as bad as we can’ ™.

You may recall that, a few years ago, you were my gym buddy. I know you’ve eaten a lot of toast and jam since then but it was a time when we bonded and I discovered what a treadmill was. I quite liked it and enjoyed being fitter and having more energy. However, somewhere along the road I let you lead me back to the kebab house and things went downhill from there. Thanks very much.

And so, we’re going to resurrect our gym trips. Yes, you and me. We’re going to start again, this time, we’re not going to stop. We’re going to end up with a body like Mitch (that’s the picture). You’d better be there tomorrow evening – and no excuses. And as a result, hopefully, ‘looking rubbish’ will be what other people do and not something I specialise in. And those people searching for ‘semi naked men’ (yes, people really do use that to get here) may get a picture of me one day!

However, if I were to ever end up looking like Mitch then I would most definitely need some of those hair extensions. So, extension lady, how many do you have?

On this day…

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