So, it began. Yesterday evening I (by which I mean we) went to the gym for the first time in six months. It wasn't the awful experience I had been expecting but I have no idea what will happen next. I even managed to recall how to operate some of those awful treadmill machines. Although I went to the gym last year, I only went to the pool, and the machines have been updated since then; they look like space craft control consoles. I kept expecting to hear Kirk behind me shouting about warp factors. While walking/running/cycling in the air-conditioned luxury of a gym I watched one of the many television screens provided for my entertainment. Except, nothing was entertaining. Not even a slightly soaked Westlife in their new video (Obvious, released 23rd February) on Chart Show TV could keep me interested for longer than two minutes. I must have channel-hopped more than I do at home.

Naturally, I ache. I have taken this as a sign that I might have started doing something good to my body rather than believing I have damaged myself in some way. Now I must work on the intake of all those lovely foods which I like to consume - man (or should that be I?) was not born to live on salad leaves alone.

While on the subject of appearance, take the BBC's smile test and see how you do. In my big-headed way I scored 18 out of 20 which I feel is quite good. And then add your thoughts to the British teeth question at BoiFromTroy!

UPDATE: You know how, when you were at school, there was always somebody bigger, smarter and generally better than you no matter how hard you tried? Well, if you read the comments, you'll see Jase had 19 out of 20. I must try harder! The question is, did he fail on a fake or a genuine?