So, I've been away for the weekend. Usually, I hear a little about this year's big brother but I am not really following it. There are certain things that you understand after there being a couple of series - one of which is that, eventually, they all start to remove layers of clothing.

I imagine that the current weather has our lot stripping off on a daily basis. Which, I guess, should send some of the viewing figures up this year! But I do know a couple of things:

• The girls keep getting voted off
• This is because people want to keep the cute guys on
• Federico is cute but keeps failing the tasks

Now, what would I know about this stuff if I watched any of it? Perhaps I should read the official site occasionally.