The phrase ‘free hair extensions’ is, apparently, a very popular way to find this site via a well-known search engine. Don’t ask me why as I have no hair on which to hang the extensions, free or otherwise. I can’t work it out but, suffice to say, I don’t know where you can get free hair extensions and, really, they look rubbish so why would you want to?

Which brings us neatly onto the act of ‘looking rubbish’. This is something I am currently excelling at. In fact, I really should take out a keyword campaign on a popular search engine but I am struggling to find a way to charge for a service for which the main goal would be to ‘make you look as bad as we can’ ™.

You may recall that, a few years ago, you were my gym buddy. I know you’ve eaten a lot of toast and jam since then but it was a time when we bonded and I discovered what a treadmill was. I quite liked it and enjoyed being fitter and having more energy. However, somewhere along the road I let you lead me back to the kebab house and things went downhill from there. Thanks very much.

And so, we’re going to resurrect our gym trips. Yes, you and me. We’re going to start again, this time, we’re not going to stop. We’re going to end up with a body like Mitch (that’s the picture). You’d better be there tomorrow evening – and no excuses. And as a result, hopefully, ‘looking rubbish’ will be what other people do and not something I specialise in. And those people searching for ‘semi naked men’ (yes, people really do use that to get here) may get a picture of me one day!

However, if I were to ever end up looking like Mitch then I would most definitely need some of those hair extensions. So, extension lady, how many do you have?

On this day…

2003: Small Screens Look Good

On this day…

No other posts on this day.

On this day…

2006: Bye Bye Juan Pablo
2006: And We're Back
2006: And We’re Back
2004: My Data
2002: I Like Yahoo!

For the lack of ‘laundry bags’ in the changing rooms in which to deposit the soaked gym kit I will blame the cleaning staff and you are spared the additional cost of having to clean out the inside of my gym bag.

On this day…

2005: links for 2005-06-22
2004: Online Customer Service Ratings
2002: Shopping Madness

However, this is always a time of retrospective analysis. Did I do anything important, relevant of useful in 2004? Of course, I think a great deal of what I did was interesting or else I would not have done it but what was really important? Of course, many important things happened in the world but this isn’t about them it’s a self-indulgent review.

I was about to admit that nothing I did was that important and much of it was far too frivolous but then I thought again. It took me a while to realise that the most important thing that I did in 2004 I did for me. Nobody told me to do it and it really doesn’t benefit anybody else (except perhaps in the longer term) but I decided that I really had to stop uncontrolled consumption of food and generally unhealthiness and do some exercise. And, with that, the whole Gym Buddy experience was born.

I have relaxed a over the past few weeks – especially on the parts that monitor my calorie intake – but I will start 2005 with a new program at the gym which will include some of the resistance machines that I find so intimidating. My battle will be to overcome my feelings of inferiority when it comes to those machines which is a battle with perceptions of myself.

It’s very hard to put into words how I feel about this whole process. It has been an entirely positive life changing experience for me: I am not wealthier, I have less free time and it didn’t help other people but I wouldn’t change a single moment of it all.

On this day…

2006: Here We Go
2005: Bruce Almighty
2004: Love Actually
2004: Review of 2003: December
2004: Review of 2003: November
2002: Why Do You Do It?

On this day…

2003: Weather Project

On this day…

2004: A Mighty Wind
2002: A Walk on the Wild Side

I do have to say that if, like yesterday, Thursday turns out to be a designated gym day then it’s not too bad as the cute aquarobics instructor is marching up and down the pool side encouraging a bunch of ladies to float better (or something). You get a nice view from the third exercise cycle from the entrance.

I am fairly certain that my gym is not full of gay men. Firstly, there is far too much sport on the television screens (although I did watch football match earlier this week – Hull v Bradford if your interested. Bradford won). Secondly, there are no signs of the steroid problem amongst gay men identified by the NHS – although there are a worrying number of overweight middle-aged men wearing those head/sweat bands that used to be popular with tennis players. It’s not a good look – even in a gym.

On this day…

2002: Beijing Blocks Search Engine

I do not think that I had exercised in any kind of serious way since I was about 15 when I was forced to take physical education classes (in my final years at school snooker and crown green bowling counted as gym class). Over the years I had been gradually buying larger and larger clothes but it had not alarmed me. I knew I was not fit, I knew I was getting fat but even chest pains in 1997 (when the doctor said ‘lose weight’) didn’t make me give up eating in the excessive quantities that I did.

So, on February 9th 2004 I exercised. And then I weighed myself for the first time in a half a decade. I knew I would be heavy and, to be honest, was not shocked by what the scales said to me. What frightened me was the realisation that if I continued at this rate of gaining weight I would be heaver than 20 stone in less than ten years. It was a little bit of a wake-up call.

On February 10th I ached but on February 11th I hauled myself back to the gym. The exercise was surprisingly easy. I followed my own programme which stuck to ‘fat burn’ routines on the various pieces of equipment (bike, treadmill, rowing machine) and gradually worked up to keep my heart at a good rate of burning fat and that left me out of breath. I did not want to push so hard that I would be put off or, worse, pass out. At times it has been hard to motivate myself to go but not too hard and I have been disciplined enough to ensure that even the occasional lapses were overcome. I promised myself I would not feel guilty about missed days or missed calorie targets – and I haven’t.

During the process I read a lot about other people’s experiences. Lance Arthur’s Fat Headed, from around the time I started this, was probably the most important. It’s all about mental attitude a little bit of will power/self control.

Fortunately for me I have always been a reasonably healthy eater. I do not binge on burgers, chips or masses of fried food. I just ate too much of everything. When I compare the quantity of pasta I used to eat in a single portion against a measured, calorie-counted healthy-eating quantity, I am embarrassed by the sheer greed.

Over the months many things kept me motivated. The laughter when my old trousers would no longer stay up; the move of my Body Mass Index from obese to healthy; the pleasure of buying new (and better fitting clothes) and the comments of people I meet (except for the one customer who told me he’d been scared to say anything because he thought I was ill). I’ve found new ways to enjoy less food and I flabbergasted myself by enjoying the light exercise I do. I have days when I consume more than others. I just know that the occasional bad day is not going to set me back.

I must say that it hasn’t really been hard. Sure, there have been harder days and difficult moments with temptations along the way but I just set my mind to it and the rest came as the results came.

Yesterday was six months to the day since I started this regime. I feel and look healthier and have a whole new wardrobe. I am no adonis with a beefed-up body. I could not say ‘swimmers build’ if I was in the mood to write a personal ad nor would you pass me in the street and notice me. But I am a fitter and leaner me. In some ways I am happier in myself – both for the changes that have occurred and for the feeling that I managed to do it. I lost four stone and so many inches from my waist I won’t even say. I have reached the target I set myself in a much faster time. I am a little spooked that it is six months to the very day!

I do know that this is a way of life now and not something I can – ever – deviate from. I must watch what I eat but it’s becoming instinctive rather than planned. I will continue to exercise and have set myself some goals to ensure I will enjoy it going forward.

As Lance said:

My advice, for those of you unhappy with your current physical situation and hoping for a miracle cure that’ll make you look like the A&F boys or the Conde Nast girls is stop looking for a miracle cure. It doesn’t exist. Eat better food, eat less of it, and get your ass in motion. Move your body in whatever you enjoy. Jog, bike, lift weights, kung fu, yoga, dance, kickbox, soccer, volleyball, swim, whatever, but go out and do it. Ask for help, encourage encouragement, change your life, be happier. [source]

I would like to thank you, my gym buddy, for the help and encouragement throughout the last six months. I think we should go out for a celebratory slap-up meal.

On this day…

2006: Go Ant Go!
2005: Tipping BAR Honda To Win
2002: Survival

Naturally, I ache. I have taken this as a sign that I might have started doing something good to my body rather than believing I have damaged myself in some way. Now I must work on the intake of all those lovely foods which I like to consume – man (or should that be I?) was not born to live on salad leaves alone.

While on the subject of appearance, take the BBC’s smile test and see how you do. In my big-headed way I scored 18 out of 20 which I feel is quite good. And then add your thoughts to the British teeth question at BoiFromTroy!

UPDATE: You know how, when you were at school, there was always somebody bigger, smarter and generally better than you no matter how hard you tried? Well, if you read the comments, you’ll see Jase had 19 out of 20. I must try harder! The question is, did he fail on a fake or a genuine?

On this day…

2006: Video Shots

Ha, I hear you cry, you can’t find the time to go to the gym. Your busy social life precludes you from even contemplating exercise. Well, my trusty invisible friend, that is but a weak excuse and I am going to take you with me. I will not tolerate that lazy and unhealthy attitude. You see you are gaining the pounds (don’t tell me you only deal in kilos) and I am going to be the one to make you go and exercise and lose the flab. I won’t listen when you say you’re going to the pub (you should have joined me in giving up drink) and I won’t tolerate you going to sit in the sauna rather than working out. I won’t stand for your nervousness when entering the gym and I won’t listen when you say ‘but everyone’s looking at me’.

No, my invisible friend, we are commencing a journey and it’s for your own good.

And we start next Monday.

UPDATE: The alternative to you becoming my gum buddy was posting a picture of my ever-growing stomach on the site as a motivation. But then I thought I might be visiting you in hospital as you recovered from the shock so you can’t get out of it that way.

On this day…

2004: Love Revolution